If you do, I don’t blame you. I know how that feels. It is only natural that if you have a loved one who is in need of care, that you want to be there for them. If things need to be done that they can no longer manage for themselves, you can’t say no, can you? Tasks around the house that they used to do, still need to be done and somebody has to take up the slack.

If they need to get to somewhere and they can’t drive anymore, you can’t leave them stranded. And how will they cope when they get there. They will need help to get around and take care of business. So there is no option but to fit in with their timetable. If there isn’t enough time to do everything, you will just have to let go of some of your trivial activities, right. Wrong!

The carer needs care too

You feel a duty to look after the person you love. But part of that duty is to maintain your own health and remain capable of doing what is needed. I learned this lesson in a dramatic fashion. When the effects of MS started to impact my wifes abilty to take care of the house, I tried to do as much as I could to help. I went the route of giving up outside interests, to the point where I felt that I had nothing left for myself.

I felt ground down by responsibilities. I was doing everything because I had to and nothing because I wanted to. After a year of being stressed beyond my ability to cope, I fell into depression. At that point, I had become an extra burden for my wife rather than a help. It was a lesson for both of us and one that I took to heart.

Not a luxury but an essential

One of the good things that came out of that period was that I took up Tai Chi. It is a great stress reliever in itself, it takes me out of the house and I get to meet new people . The night of my class is sacrosanct. It takes something extremely important to stop me from going. And do I feel guilty? Not a bit. I know that it is contributing to my physical as well as mental health and that could be very important in the future. I am not getting any younger and I need to stay active.

I was advised very early on, that when you are looking after someone else, it is doubly important to look after yourself. But I still had to learn the hard way. You absolutely must have some activities that you do purely for your own pleasure. It doesn’t matter how trivial they might seem to you one else. You not only need to, you deserve to. Don’t underestimate the benefits of me time.

Many good things have come about as a result of my brush with stress and depression. One of them is my daily practice of meditation. Since I began to appreciate its benefits, I have recommended it to several people. Ironically, the ones who obviously need it are usually the ones who say they don’t have time to do it.

We live life at a breakneck pace these days. We have become accustomed to instant gratification and nobody wants to wait for anything anymore. We carry cell phones so we can be constantly in touch.  If we want to talk to someone, it’s got to be now. Our phones  also provide constant entertainment. God forbid that we should have a second to stop and think.

The video game generation

A generation of people are reaching their thirties, having played computer games for most of their lives. They have learned to be constantly reacting to quickfire changes. Films are being edited differently these days for the benefit of these people. They need the fast movement on the screen and the constant switching of camera angles.

We touch base with lots of people but hardly have time to connect with any of them. You see groups of people, apparently together but they are constantly texting or talking to someone else on their cell phones. We have lost the ability to be present. Wherever we are, we are thinking about where we are going to be.

The antidote

Meditation is a way to step off the treadmill and get some to for ourselves. The problem is that a lot of people have never experienced that. The idea of being alone with your thoughts is a frightening one. And their is quite a bit of misunderstanding about what meditation is. It is associated with mainly eastern religions and people think of monks in loin cloths sitting on mountain tops, taking years to achieve mastery.

There may be some truth in this but it is not necessary in order to gain some of the benefits of meditation. There are some very simple forms of meditation that can be learned virtually instantly and a little goes a long way. If you are used to having no tranquility in your life, the effects can be remarkable. You may not realize it but you have a pause button. Give it a try.

]]> http://www.stresscurer.com/meditation-for-stress-relief/feed/ 0 http://www.stresscurer.com/self-stress-management/ http://www.stresscurer.com/self-stress-management/#comments Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:59:24 +0000 admin http://www.stresscurer.com/?p=23 How do we deal with stress

Stress is a common cause of both psychological and physical illness today and is one of the main reasons for lost work time and visits to the doctor. But if we recognize the symptoms early enough, there is a lot that we can do to manage our own stress before the problem reaches this level. Stress, after all, is not due to the situations we find ourselves in, but our reaction to them. And the only thing we have total control over is the way we think.

We may have some ability to manage the stress factors that affect us but reducing our exposure to stressful situations is not always possible. If you feel under a lot of pressure at work, you can speak to your manager and find out what can be done to reduce it. If the scope for this is limited, you might have to consider a career change. But that is a major life decision. You can change your job but not your family.

There are some situations that you can’t change. For instance, if you are a carer for a partner or relative who has a permanent disability, you just have to find ways to deal with the practicalities. You have to recognize what you can and can’t change and learn to accept what is. There are some practical steps you can take to manage your stress.

How to Relieve Stress

You can start by decreasing or discontinuing caffeine, especially if you are a regular drinker of tea, coffee, chocolate or coke. It is an easy beginning to start your stress management, and you can decrease the intake gradually. Aerobic exercise is also a great stress management technique, as it dissipates your excess energy and drains off the adrenaline that produces the physical stress feeling.

Feeling that things are not in your control is a trigger for stress. Doing something physical can give you that feeling of being in control of something. Any kind of physical activity is good for stress reduction; it could just be a brisk walk, a game of squash or a bike ride.

Relaxation and Sleep

It is easy to tell someone to relax but not easy to do when they are feeling under pressure. There are some good methods available to do this though. Meditation is great for calming the mind and you can learn some simple techniques. There are also CDs you can get that make the process even easier. Yoga, Tai Chi and Qigong are also good, if not quick, solutions. You may be thinking that you already have too many things to do, but time for yourself is not a luxury but an essential. For your mental health, you must have some time to do things just for pleasure.Good quality sleep can be hard to come by when you are stressed. The changes mentioned previously can also contribute to a better nights sleep. You could also try turning off television and computers a good while before bedtime. Try reading or something else less stimulating. Allow yourself to notice when you feel naturally tired.

The Inner Aspect

I now regard the bout of depression I experienced as one of the best things that ever happened to me. The reason is that after a few months of being dysfunctional, I began to look for ways to get myself out of feeling so bad all the time. It eventually led me to being in a continual process of personal development. After many study courses, books, CDs and DVDs, I have really come to understand that external circumstances do not control us.

The things going on around us are just a trigger and the way we feel is our reaction to it. If we really learn to understand and control the way we think, we can choose to remain, calm, happy and resourceful and mange the stress whatever life throws at us.

Basic Methods

When it comes to stress management, a lot of us tend to imagine aromatherapy, Yoga or any other type of spiritual therapy. However, stress management brings about a much deeper meaning. Stress management methodology offers you a wide variety of choices to pick from. This can easily get you to do without Yoga. You should know that some of these ways are simple while others require more perseverance. Read on to check some of the simple various stress management routines.

Stay organized and try to avoid doing everything at the last moment. Stress management starts at something as simple as getting the clothes you are going to wear next morning ready just one night earlier. Also, you can always make use of an organizer to remind you of important meetings and events. Organizing your day shall set your head clear and get you to avoid more stress as you would not be very concerned about your weak memory anymore. The most effective element in such a stress management method is that it allows you to get every single step well organized on your mind leaving you almost nothing to be stressed about.

Furthermore, try some brain exercises and you would notice how that would positively affect your stressed out head. You should know that even little stress could have the worst impact on you. Hence, via stress management related exercises, both your brain and body would learn how to naturally unwind and calm down. Being extremely stressed out has a negative impact on your body’s muscles and in turn it affects your overall performance. There are a great number of exercises from which you can pick the best and the most enjoyable for you. All sports and workouts can be effective stress management methods. So, enjoying your time while coping with stress at the same time would become much easier now.

Both organizing your day and exercising are considered part of the stress management program that allows you to deal with stress and get the control over it. Organizing your time and tasks should minimize the level of stress and over pressure that you are dealing with in your everyday life. On the other hand, Resorting to exercising calms you down both; physically and mentally. Stress is a common problem affecting us all, yet you can always rely on the different stress management routines.